I Own the Vnboards!

For the benefit of those confused about the 'Cloudsong' cliche, here's where it originated from:

Stole My Fucking Cloudsong!

They're speaking of a cloak that is found in a game, Dark Age of Camelot, that C8 and I play(ed) frequently.

I'm a Cold-Hearted Son of a Bitch

Here's the conversation to prove it:

Officer: Hey umm, this is Deputy Barnes with the Harris County Sheriff's department. I have a Jennifer Frank with me who I'm taking to jail. She just had a baby and was wonderin' if she could take care of this ticket without going to jail.

*Dallas looks up Jennifer Frank's file*

Dallas: Sir, Jennifer Frank has one warrant for a ticket that has a 400 dollar fine. In order for her not to go to jail, she would need to pay half of the total amount. We'd then let her set up a payment plan for the rest of the amount. Can she get 200 dollars?

Officer: Let me see. She says she can't get 200 dollars

Dallas: Well, not only does she not collect 200 dollars then, but she also goes directly to jail.

Officer: Thank you sir, have a nice day.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

The boys from Angora (You might remember them from the other video I posted here) are back wishing everyone a Merry Christmas:

Jul i Angora

Simon: Now it is Christmas - It's time for glögg and duck. The snow falls in Angora's land.
Henrik: I shall go home and polish my piano. My talent is something that impresses.
Simon: Kåre, you have drank Christmas beer in a way that's most extreme. Kåre... Kåre?
Kåre: Namely ja, ja namely ja, ja namely ja, it's not a problem

Everyone: Now it's Christmas in Angora
Henning: So we shall bugger off home to mom (or mother)
Everyone: Ja, We shall do that, but also home to dad.

Everyone: Now it's Christmas in Angora
Baune: So we shall go out and score
Everyone: No, we shall not. We will dance around a tree.

Russians: ... ??????? Vlad i ???
Baune (Incoherently): What the hell did you say, you fat Russian swine?
Bugge & Ronald: Simon is a dumb, dumb, dumb, dumb one. What, pretty face?
Simon: Control youselves - Pothair and matchstick legs
Ronald: He called you matchstick legs!

Jan: I have sung the song and made the food with human shit.
Dan: I have, umm.. hold up.. umm.. no no no

Everyone: Now it's Christmas in Angora
Jan: We shall have food with shit and leeks
Everyone: No we won't. We shall have Christmas duck.

Everyone: Now it's Christmas in Angora
Pim: Oi, my mother is a slutty whore.
Everyone: We know that - it's not our problem.
Pim: No, it's no problem

Farmer's son: Good day, father!
Farmer: Good day Ryan, good day Flemming, oh, have you all come to help me decorate the Christmas tree?
Farmer's son: Naw, we just came with a nice Christmas gift for you - Merry Christmas Dad - Merry Christmas, you old idiot.

Everyone: Now it's Christmas in Angora
Bobby: My glasses are too big
Everyone: but it is Christmas time, so wish for a new pair.

Everyone: Now it's Christmas in Angora
Kåre: Oh, so we will have a bit of Christmas ale then.
Baune: Yihaa! Cheers from the outhouse
Everyone: Yeah, we shall chug beer - and wish for a Merry Christmas

Pim: Merry Christmas!
Everyone: Ja, we shall chug beer - and wish for a Merry Christmas

Simon: Greetings, God
Everyone: Ja, we shall chug beer - and wish for a Merry Christmas

Tales From the Proletariat: Where'd it go?

This isn't the first time I've seen this. Before me sits a ticket issued to a "Mrs. Madison" According to her drivers license, Mrs. Madison is 5'2" in height and weighs 500 pounds. A question comes immediately to mind for even the most casual observer: What could a 500 pound woman do that would be breaking the law?

The ticket presents us with this answer:

"Rode without wearing seatbelt"

Paris Hilton

Here's a pretty good illustration of just how one-dimensional this woman actually is.